


If It Makes You Happy (then why the hell are you so sad)

by gala_apples



Series: Get Glee Laid [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: Coming Untouched, Dirty Talk, Episode Related, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 09:31:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not that Puck can’t believe he’s doing this. He’s a sex shark. It’s that he can’t believe Rachel is doing this. She wouldn’t even let him touch boob, and now she’s dirty talking their way to orgasm on the bleachers with the football and track teams in sight.</p><p>Set during 1x08- Mash Up</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It Makes You Happy (then why the hell are you so sad)

Puck’s watching Finn and the rest of the team practice when Rachel approaches. She does it slowly, like he’s a wild dog that might attack if she startles him. Good. At least he’s still got some semblance of rep left. “Do miss it?”

“Hell no.” Which is a blatant fucking lie, but like she needs to know his damn feelings.

She sits down beside him, but one row up. “I hope you didn’t choose Glee over football because of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think this relationship is going to work out.”

“It’s cool. I was gonna break up with you anyway.”

“No you weren’t.”

“Yes I was. You wouldn’t even let me touch your boobs.” Puck stops looking at her knees and looks back out on the field where stupid Hudson is taking a break, walking around with his helmet dangling from his hand. He states the obvious. “It’s Finn, right? He’s never gonna leave Quinn. Not with that baby in her belly.”

“You like her, don’t you.” It’s not a question. “I can see you staring at her when I’m staring at Finn. Is that why you joined Glee? To be closer to her?”

Puck decides screw it. “I’m not looking at Quinn.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When you’re looking at Finn, and you think I’m looking towards Finn but a few feet to the side? I’m just looking at Finn.”

“Noah, are you-”

He interrupts her. “The only labels I want are Jew and badass. Everything else is bullshit.”

“Do you want to talk to my two gay dads?”

Puck rolls his eyes. “I’m not coming out. And if you try to tell anyone they won’t believe you. Not even though I joined homo explosion over football. They’ll slushie me, but they won’t say that.”

He’s surprised at how much bitterness comes out. He’s also surprised that self-centred Rachel Berry picks up on it. “It’s strange, isn’t it. How something that seems so routine, so essentially you, can be seen as some dire accusation by another. I see it when I’m with my dads. Sometimes I don’t know who it’s worse for, me or my dads.”

“Your dads,” Puck answers. There’s no way homophobia affects her more than it affects the actually gay parents.

“I suppose. It’s harder than it seems, though, to be an ally. You don’t get that feeling of being directly involved. You have to sustain yourself on righteousness, and that gets a bit stale.”

Puck wants to laugh. Like Rachel Berry finds it hard to think that she’s better than everyone else. Like any of the girls in Glee do, except maybe Tina. But laughing out loud is bitchy, and Rachel could maybe be his ally or what-the-fuck-ever, if he wants to talk about this sometime. He holds the laugh in, just in case. Not every bridge needs to be burned.

She stretches her legs out far, until her feet are on his bench, then kind of half crab-walks forward. Her skirt hikes up her leg, and it’s habit to try to see as much ass as he can. When she’s settled she’s quiet for a minute before she asks “what do you want him to do with you?”

Puck twists to the side to look at her. She seems completely serious. “What do you _think_?”

“I want him to kiss me. I want him to never want to stop kissing me. And I want his hand to be on the hem of my sweater like he wants to touch me but he’s too much of a gentleman.”

Puck shakes his head without thinking about it. “No. It’s better if he pushes his hand up your shirt because he needs to touch skin. Like, needs it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s Hudson. He’d go right for the boob, no subtlety at all. But it would be nice too. You’d know he wants you when his hands were cupping your boobs.”

Rachel blushes faintly. “You’re right. That does sound nice. And I think he’d try to take your shirt right off. He’d remember that you have that nipple ring because he sees it out of the corner of his eye in the locker room sometimes and he’s always been a little curious about what metal tastes like. So he licks over your nipple and you tell him it’s okay if he wants to bite, but instead he just tugs it with his lips.”

There’s a chance Puck shouldn’t be doing this. After all, they’re not dating anymore. Does it count as rebounding if it’s the same girl? But fuck it. He wants this.

“He wouldn’t pull off your sweater at first. He’d feel you up for a while. But it would be too much. Your bra’s pretty, and he actually thinks to tell you that when he lays you down on the bed. His hand relocates from your breast to your kneecap. Well, for a second. He pretty much immediately starts dragging it up your leg. It makes you shiver Your thighs are more sensitive than you thought they’d be.”

“You take your own pants off, he does his. You’re commando, but Finn’s not. He’s wearing boxer briefs, and his erection is obvious. You start kissing him again, and it’s wet and dirty, but you want more. You instruct him to turn around, and he does. You pull him in close, arms wrapped around him, hands on his chest, and you start rubbing your dick against his crack. The spandex keeps getting caught, your dick is leaking and the wetness makes the fabric stick. Finn can probably feel it, but you don’t know because he’s not saying anything.”

She’s brought up fluids. Puck can’t let her be dirtier than he is. There’s something fundamentally wrong with the universe if Rachel Berry is beating him at dirty talk.

“By the time he starts playing with the elastic hem that curls around your leg” because there’s no way Rachel wears anything but plain cotton panties, and talking fantasy about unrealistic g-strings would throw her out of it, “you’re completely wet. You want him to fuck you, and the way his fingertips are rubbing the crease of your leg is the worst kind of tease. You think you might die before he pushes the crotch of your panties aside.”

Rachel squirms beside him on the bench, and it hits Puck that yes, this is having real world applications. She’s hot enough to squirm, and what she’s saying is getting him hard.

“You finally decide to pull down his underwear. You don’t fuck him, not yet. But your cock is dragging between his cheeks, and every time the head of it rubs over his asshole Finn whimpers. He wants you, so badly.”

Shit. Puck reaches down and presses the palm of his hand against his zipper. If he’d known she had such a great filthy mouth he would have tried this earlier.

“Finn starts fingering you. You’re wet enough that two slip in easily. His fingers are thin, but long. It’s like he’s reaching all the way inside of you. He’s heard of the G-spot. He’s got no idea how to find it, but he’s trying, because he wants to please you.”

“God. Noah,” she groans.

He’s winning, if this is the kind of thing you win. “When he pulls his fingers out you reach down and grab his hand, trying to force him to put them back inside you. You don’t know why he’s stopping. But then Finn moves down the bed. He pushes your skirt up and starts licking your cunt. Your clit is a lot easier to find, swollen and beautiful above your lips. He sucks on it and you start writhing.”

Rachel shudders, and drops her head onto his shoulder. He can feel her hot panting exhalations on his arm. It’s really fucking hot. That’s the beauty of sex. It doesn’t matter who it’s with. It doesn’t matter who you’d most want to see coming apart, an orgasm looks good on anyone.

She takes a moment to pull herself back together. She’s blushing when she sits back up. He can see the flush when Rachel tucks a section of hair behind her ear. She straightens her posture and starts again.

“He finally reaches back and grabs your hip, dragging you as close as you can get. Finn begs you to fuck him. You only separate for a second, to get lube and a condom. By the time you’re back he’s chest against the wall, and he’s holding his cheeks apart. He’s still loose from the last time you fucked him-”

Puck groans. She picks up on it. “Finn really likes getting fucked. He wants it all the time. Sometimes you don’t even need lubrication, he’s still wet from the last time. He-”

Puck groans again, louder, and comes in his jeans. Untouched, like he’s some virgin. But there’s no denying the intense hotness of that image.

“And then you come,” she says quietly. Unnecessarily.

“And then you come,” he returns, voice just as low.

“Goodbye, Puck.” She stands, then bends to kiss his temple. 

Puck watches Rachel walk away, then turns back to the football field. He’ll never get anything he wants, but he can be pretty good at pretending.


End file.
